As soon as that diamond ring hits your finger, you’re itching to go dress shopping and look at spectacular venues, but is wedding planning all elaborate shopping trips and pretty wedding planning books?
Hold it there girls!
Wedding planning is the most amazing experience but it’s not quite what the films make out.
You probably have the same image in your head, a bride with her mother and bridesmaids all sat around a little table, sipping fruit tea from hand painted China coffee cups, pointing out lace dresses from magazines (that were only ever designed to be worn by stick insects).
Yes maybe it starts off similar to that (although now it’s more likely to be the cyber equivalent, a wedding Facebook page or even a hashtag on Instagram!) but then the reality of family and budgets kicks in, the bridesmaids can’t agree on anything and your fiancé is getting bored with discussing centrepieces. For a light-hearted reality check, have a read of ’12 Things No One Tells You When Planning Your Wedding’.
After speaking with many brides, I’ve put together a list of the hardest things about planning your wedding.
Rsvps and invitations
Seriously, how hard is it to tick a box and put it back in the post? Who hasn’t got an extra 30 seconds in the day to pull up outside the post box on the way to work and drop it in? Though you can guarantee if you didn’t invite them, they’d be kicking up a fuss!
Choosing a venue
You’re only looking for somewhere that holds 100 people, is 25 minutes from your house, has over-night accommodation, a beautiful landscaped garden and catering built-in to the price. Why can’t you find that?
Creating your table / seating plan
Uncle Paul won’t sit anywhere near uncle Jim but Jim won’t sit next to uncle Mark or his ex who happens to be your bridesmaid. Plus your brother needs to be kept away from the groom’s brother, who under no circumstances must sit next to your cousin, whom he spent the night with and never called back.
So yeah, good luck with that one!
Choosing your music
Eugh this one is a bit of a ball ache. If you both like the same music (or even the same genre) then maybe you’ll have a special song that you can listen to and enjoy together. The average couple will listen to 24-48 hours of music solidly before agreeing on a couple of songs to have at their ceremony. Ok, I completely made that statistic up BUT, I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll lose sleep racking your brains for songs with meaningful words in them.
Gathering bridesmaids together to choose dresses
When you first asked them to be bridesmaids they were so excited and promised shopping trips and pamper days. Now trying to get them to agree on a day to try on some dresses together now, (which you’re paying for) is like asking them to hand over their first-born child. Check out this post by fellow wedding blogger Jennifer from 2morrows Dress for 5 Top Tips for Bridesmaid Dress Shopping.
Not showing hubby-to-be your dress
This one I really struggled with. I’d never so much as bought a new shade of eye shadow without asking my fiancé his opinion on it first. Don’t give in though, hold out for that amazing reaction when he first sees you in it.
Sticking to a budget
Everything is so lovely! The odd table decoration here, the extra bunting there. Suddenly you’ve added up everything up and your 10k is at £12.5k and you’ve yet to book your cars, buy your shoes, or get your nails done! Although, I can help here. I’m currently giving away ‘The Ultimate Wedding Spend Tracker‘. Simply pop in all of your numbers and you can keep up to date with where you are against budget, who your suppliers are and what’s left to pay. I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, but’s a bit of a game changer
Getting your hubby-to-be involved and excited in the planning
To be fair to them, I think most will make an effort to be involved in the biggest decisions and will hopefully ask you about your ideas and what you’ve been planning. But, they don’t think the same as women and they don’t have the same eye for details. So when you’re in your third hour of discussing whether to have scatter crystals or flower petals on your tables, accept that he honestly doesn’t mind and would rather you chose as it would make you happy. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he knows that you do. If however, he’s not interested in viewing venues or looking at photographers together, then rightly summon him to the dog house until he gets his act together.
Ignoring unwanted opinions or judgement
You’ve probably already worked out that if ever you say ‘I’m planning my wedding’ or ‘I’m getting married’ everyone sees that as an open invitation to tell you exactly how you must plan your big day. They’ll know best when it comes to every detail of the day. If you happen to make the critical mistake of suggesting your own ideas (you’ll only do that once), be prepared for heavy backlash and being told how wrong you are for suggesting something so ridiculous. If you’re not planning a wedding exactly like they had (probably 50 years ago) it will be wrong. Your guest list will be wrong, your decorations will be joke, don’t even get them started on the photo-booth! Oh and a post box? Is it “a postman pat themed wedding”? You’ll learn pretty quickly to stop discussing your ideas!
So there you have it. I may not have given you the answers to all of these problems, but I can imagine you read it and nodded along with every point. If nothing else it helps to know you’re not alone, right? Just know you’ll find the right answers eventually and on the big day itself you won’t care one tiny bit about anything else, other than marrying the person you love and feeling like a princess for the day.
Did I miss anything out? Let me know what you found the hardest when you planned your wedding.
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