Forgive me ladies. I know I’m opening a huge tin of worms here, but don’t the men deserve to know the truth?
Even if we don’t actually lie to our grooms, I think we’re all guilty of letting them believe a fabrication of the truth. And that’s putting it nicely! Sometimes they’re just outright truth-opposites!
So grooms, here is your perception of wedding planning, along with the truth – (or what we actually mean).
It’s better that they find out now, right?
Groom’s perception: number one
The bride just wants a small wedding. No point going over-board, her only real interest is marrying her soul mate so she’s not really bothered about all that over-the-topness that some couples opt for.
If she doesn’t arrive at her fairy-tale venue, dripping with twinkling lights to a team of harpists, and leave the reception whilst fireworks spell out your names, she ain’t interested!
The Groom’s perception number two
She doesn’t go on about the wedding all the time, she’s looking forward to it but hasn’t lost her head over it.
She makes excuses to sneak off with her phone to browse the latest wedding trends on Pinterest. You think she’s putting the ironing away, she’s actually sending screenshots of wedding hair to the bridesmaids.
The groom’s perception number three
Her work is crazy right now, she’s always late home after having caught up on outstanding tasks after clocking out
She clocks out then gets the glossy wedding mags out of her bag so that she and her colleagues can circle their favourite wedding dresses and cross out the ugly ones.
The groom’s perception number four
Weddings are expensive. That’s just what these things cost right? And you want to make her happy?
Who would choose plain chair sashes when diamond-encrusted ones are available? And how could you possibly say ‘I do’ without being surrounded by enough foliage to camouflage a forest?
The Groom’s perception number five
She keeps trying to drag you into some of the more boring wedding-planning tasks, but has kindly offered to sort the table plan so that you can have some ‘time off’ from planning.
There ain’t no way she is letting your bitchy cousins near her family! Noticed how your side seem to be positioned as far away from the top table as possible?
The groom’s perception number 6
There is a big gap between the ceremony and reception. You’ve talked it over and the only option is to book a magician, photo-booth, bouncy castle and full outdoor games package.
Her colleague only had a photo booth at her wedding last month, your day has obviously got to do bigger and better than that! What will people think? Your wedding has to be more special and more fun!
The groom’s perception number 7
At least she’s not become too image-obsessed when planning the wedding, you know, like some brides do?
Her to-do list before the wedding day:
- Lose 2 and a half stone
- spray tan
- full body waxing
- eyelash tinting
- Hair and makeup
Groom’s perception VS reality number 8
Here’s the one that the grooms find most upsetting:
You think she’s wearing skimpy, sexy bridal underwear set under that princess gown.
Sorry blokes. A girl’s got to keep all those lumpy, bumpy bits sucked in. Here’s what she’s actually wearing:
Have I missed something? Leave a comment and tell me your little white wedding planning lies!
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